I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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