There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
