My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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