guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
