just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
