I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
