I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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