Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
