Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
