After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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