While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
