am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
