would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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