There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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