It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
