38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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