Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She told me I should be a condom model.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
