dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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