I'm really into asian looking animals
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
