wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
