In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm at about main and main street
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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