watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
