This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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