matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
