seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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