I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
