I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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