After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
