hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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