Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
