It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
