I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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