i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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