Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
