I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
