also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
