I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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