the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
