i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
