I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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