please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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