There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Randomize
