I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
