i permit you to call me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
