I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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