Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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