turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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