if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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