I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
