we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're like the curious george of whores
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
